It's sad to belong.

Soul Mate

Real soul mates... must be nothing more than a impossible dream or fantasy that only torment and tease as years of relationships come and go. Some not so bad and some fail horribly. This late in life your sure there is no such thing and dreaming of it is nearly impossible. Then it happens with no warning. Beyond what you thought a soul mate might be. Can't believe that in a world so big your lucky enough to find this piece that fits so perfect. Yet even with all its miracle why should your life be any different than it has been. Filled with curve balls and complications that will prevent this from having a real future.

Rambling

It's been over two years since Sir and i first made contact online. Now just two years since i first gazed up at his tall stature to look into the eyes of the man who had changed my world already in just a couple months. Then continue to change it every day without any warning. No matter how hard i might have tried to keep some control of my heart, soul and body. i failed to protect myself as i had done all my life from showing any feelings or emotions that made me look and feel weak in any way. What was happening to me was truly the scariest experience of my life. 

From many life experiences i have protected myself from anyone ever really knowing me. Trust and depend on no one completely. Always holding back enough to stay in control of myself and protect myself from being hurt to badly. Emails, chats, talking and then time together discussing the interest that brought us together, along with the interest we had in common of our every day lives may be what put me at ease or what ever it was. But i couldn't seem to control myself from sharing my worse fears, painful experiences, emotions or feelings. In the past when i had done something wrong i might feel guilty, but not enough usually to tell on myself. With Sir, anything from behavior issues to a desire or interest i might have or think he might like. Yet nervous or embarrassed to admit. Felt like i was keeping a secret and would make me feel ill until i told him. i discovered that for the first time ever in my life, i actually trusted someone 100%. Meaning... my heart, mind and body completely. 

There is no turning back for me now. His power, strength and Dominance over me is something i just can't ignore or block from my heart, mind or body now. The desire to serve, please and care for him is over whelming. Something i just can't explain.

The intimacy shared with him is the most special i have ever had or could imagine and it is not by intercourse. Not doing that is a choice made early on. It has actually been over 3 years for me, yet he rewards me with allowing me to please him with my mouth. Think what you want to when i use the word reward, but for me it truly is. i don't love sucking any man's cock, but i have liked doing so with very few before Sir. With Sir, i love, crave, desire and even get in trouble sometimes for my impatience to do so. Make it even more desirable is how he tastes.