A Spanking Poem

To love is to spank 
To spank is to love 
We're two of a kind 
We fit like a glove 

I know you've been bad 
I see what you need 
The spanking will come 
Our love we will feed 

You're my little girl 
Like the girl with the curl 
Who's sometimes good as gold 
But don't tell me you're too old 

To be taken in hand 
By someone who cares 
Who won't take your lip 
Nor cold hearted stares 

"Cause you've misbehaved 
I've told you before 
If you don't toe the mark 
Your behind will be sore 

I know it's my way 
That makes you obey 
I never back down 
I must spank you, today 

So over my lap 
You are taken again 
When I start to use the brush 
I'll hear you crying then 

But stop I cannot 
Until the lessons been learned 
Through heat to the seat 
And a bottom that's burned 

She kicks and she cries 
And begs and she pleads 
But spank her I must 
For such naughty deeds 

Her skirt is pulled up 
And her panties are down 
And hairbrush of wood 
Of Ebony brown 
She cries that it hurts 
She swears to be good 
But I will not stop 
Until the time that I should 

From flesh that was white 
To a color of pink 
To a red that resembles 
A cherry soft drink 
Her bottom so hot 
And her tears oh so real 
I'm sure this sound spanking 
To her will reveal 
That I love to spank her 
But above, most of all 
Is the love that I feel for her 
That makes me walk tall 
For I know I am doing 
This for her own good 
And I'll do it tomorrow 
If I know I should 
So, stay on the straight and narrow 
And take this to the bank 
Should you stray from the path girl 
Your bare fanny I will spank 

Everything as it should be.

Stripped of the gown that was part of the celebration of their unity. She is told to stand and lean forward placing her hands on the wall. She obeys him and pushes her bottom out in an inviting manner. His heart beats faster and cock stiffens as he views the invitation. Yet before he finalizes today's event, by taking her now as his wife. He will confirm her promise to obey.

Standing behind her, he runs his hand across her smooth skin and speaks of her promise to love, honor and obey. Her body trembles slightly of fear and excitement, because from the beginning of their relationship they both knew what they wanted and would have forever if this day ever came. She has submitted to him in mind, body and soul. 

He reaches for the night stand drawer and removes a leather strap he had made of the finest leather. Specially for this night, but not exclusively. He does not ask, but tells her to stay in that position with her hands on the wall, until he tells her she can move. She simply replies in agreement with "Yes Sir". His Dominance is wanted, needed and desired as much for her as her submission is for him.

The tone of this moment is well understood and excepted by both. A loud gasp escapes her lips when the first of many hard strokes of the strap land across the fullest part of her bottom and sit spot. Tears quickly flow freely, but not from sadness or the stinging pain and burn felt by the strap. They are tears of happiness that her life long dream of living the rest of her life with a man who knows and understands her best has been fulfilled.

Knowing her well and even confirmed after past punishments she has earned. She is never aware of her bodies desire for his Dominance, even with the harshest punishment. The sounds of a slight whimper and soft moan are heard when they both discover the extreme wetness felt as he runs his fingers across her swollen lips. He grins with great pleasure and states "you really are a naughty little girl". Then leads her over to the bed to reward her submission with physical pleasure.

When i said Goodnight.

My daughters have way too many friends that play in several different bands. Can't keep up with who is in which band. This song's name caught eye. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rDE3SFZWsw&feature=related

Behind these castle walls

Nothing compares...

Everything i have ever been through in my life. Some things worse than many could imagine. Others not even close to what others have suffered.
I built a wall, my castle. So strong, so high to protect me from ever allowing myself to feel anything. Estranged from emotions and any emotional connection. May not have been right, but it was easier than feeling anything.
Then He came along and some how He managed to breach even my strongest and toughest wall and mask. Feelings i never believed were real or possible. Honestly thought such feelings were fantasies people just convinced themselves that they were really feeling.
Knowing from the beginning where it stood regarding a future did hurt, but knowing that not being any part of His life was even worse. Still wanting even the smallest piece possible. Still do, but for Him this seems to have changed.
I would do anything to protect him from any pain, even if it is a pain that nothing i have ever experienced compares to.
Nothing compares to the pain of losing my Daddy.

Destroying the implement collection.

Been thinking about how i will destroy each implement. Wood is pretty simple... burn. Yet leather, lexan, rubber and such is little more difficult.  Haven't shot any of my guns for some time now. Thinking some target practice might be interesting. Figure it needs to be as creative as possible. Like the way some were made and used.
Thinking about doing the same with some clothing. Especially school uniforms. Like the one i have, worn in 10th grade.

A Brief History Of The School Cane.

It is not known specifically just when the cane was introduced into England. After all, it was hardly an event of historical importance to be recorded for posterity. What is known however is that cane was first shipped to England as dunnage being light in weight, rattan was the ideal material for protecting valuable cargo from water and other contaminates that could collect in the holds of ships.

The use of the cane in schools seems to go back as far as the eighteenth century. A poem, 'The School Master's Cane' was published in 1787 and there are a few other references to its use going back even earlier. The cane however, did not replace the birch but rather, was used in addition to, perhaps for less serious offences.

Corporal punishment in schools, especially public schools was both extreme and barbaric. The birch, the whalebone switch and even the lash were employed. The 'Soko Rod' used in some reformatories on both boys and girls, consisted of 3 whalebone switches set into a wooden handle. Winchester school used its infamous 'Winton Rod', which consisted of 3 long, apple twigs set into a wooden handle.

The cane however, soon gained in popularity as an alternative to or in addition to the birch and the switch. It was cheap, highly effective even through clothing and it lasted, unlike the birch or switch both of which would soon dry out and break.

In some schools, the birch persisted for more formal beatings whilst the cane was used for minor infractions and peccadilloes. As an implement for maintaining classroom discipline it was ideal because it was always ready for immediate use. It required no prior soaking in water and no disrobing of the pupil was necessary.

In 1870 the 'Compulsory Education Act' was passed by Parliament, requiring all children to attend school until the age of thirteen. Teachers had to cope with classes of up to 100 children. And, they had to achieve certain high standards in basic subjects. These rigorously applied standards were subject to a yearly practical examination by inspectors. The teacher's pay and the school's grant were dependent upon achieving good results. So, now was not a good time to even consider prohibiting the use of the cane.

Following the 1870 act, local school boards were set up by way of direct election, to oversee and maintain schools in their area. Schools were known as 'Board Schools,' these boards were the forerunners of what were to become LEA's, - Local Education Authorities.

It was the boards, as part of their contractual relationship with teachers in their area, who first developed regulations to try and control the use of corporal punishment. And, as in other matters, the basic structure of many other area's regulations were based upon those first developed by the London School Board.

At a meeting convened on 21st July 1871, Prof. T.H. Huxley moved that the following regulations should be adopted to control the use of corporal punishment in the London area:

• Every occurrence of corporal punishment is to be recorded in a book kept for this purpose.
• Pupil Teachers shall be prohibited absolutely from inflicting such punishment.
• The head teacher shall be held directly responsible for every punishment of the kind inflicted in his school.

In October 1878, one of the first recorded formal attempts were made by two women members of the London Board to abolish corporal punishment for girls and infants. It was discussed, deferred and later defeated but, even the few regulations that were in place seemed a step too far for most teachers. The London Board was constantly bombarded with letters, petitions and memoranda from teacher's associations calling for amendments to the regulations, citing the difficulties in maintaining discipline in schools.

In 1878, a petition from the Greenwich district teachers stated that although the infliction of punishment was the most unpleasant part of their duties, the education act had put into schools, children who were extremely difficult to manage. They cited truancy, insubordination, lying, stealing and foul language. Any attempts to reason with or appeals to their sense of morality were regarded as a weakness. The cane was the only effective deterrent.

Under common law, teachers acted in loco parentis and had the same power of restraint as the parents. The teachers claimed that the Boards regulations seriously impaired their powers of restraint and correction, recognized by law as necessary for the management of children.

In 1885, two additional regulations were added by the London Board:

• In the case of a mixed school in the charge of a headmaster, corporal punishment for girls must be given by an assistant mistress under the head's supervision.
• The punishment book shall be examined from time to time to ensure that all the necessary entries have been made.

It should be noted however, that regulations issued by the Boards, applied only to their own schools. Church schools, private schools, public schools and reformatories etc. were not bound by these rules.

With the advent of enforced schooling, the use of the cane became widespread to such an extent that large scale operations were established to supply this growing market. One cane importer, established in 1832, set up a large production facility which supplied tens of thousands of punishment canes every year. It became the biggest supplier in the UK. Even in the 1960's it was churning out canes at a mind - boggling rate, supplying direct to LEA's such as the ILEA (Inner London Education Authority), and other institutions. Thousands of canes per year also went for export. It finally ceased production in the late 1970's due to dwindling demand.

In 1902, the 'Balfour Act' abolished the school boards. This did not apply to London which was abolished a year later under a separate Act. Schools now came under the control of councils. London schools were now controlled by the LCC.

In 1905, representations were made to the LCC by the 'Society for the Reform of School Discipline,' to consider the possibility of abolishing corporal punishment. At the same time, the 'Independent Labor Party' called for abolishing for infants and girls. The Education Committee of the LCC concluded that it would be unwise to do so. Reasons given were:

• Some children are only amenable to corporal punishment.
• Certain offences, such as indecency, could only be dealt with by the use of corporal punishment.
• If C.P. were to be abolished there would be grave danger of other forms of irregular and harmful punishments.

By 1910, following successive amendments, the LCC regulations comprised of the following amendments:

1.      Heads to use every endeavor to keep C.P. to a minimum.

2.      C.P. not to be inflicted except for grave moral offences or until other means of control have been tried.

3.      Heads to be responsible for all punishments but able to delegate the power to use c.p. in writing.

4.      Those using irregular, cruel or excessive punishment liable dismissal unless under severe provocation.

5.      Care to be use in the case of nervous and delicate children.

6.      In mixed schools, a mistress to inflict punishment on a girl.

7.      Blows with the hand, cuff, boxing of ears, shaking and all other irregular ways of inflicting punishment, to be strictly forbidden.

8.      All corporal punishment to be recorded.

9.      The punishment book to be inspected at each manager's meeting.

10.  C.P. for children in infants' schools to be permitted, but for grade one should normally only be inflicted with the hand.

Such was the care with which the LCC regulations had been formulated, that many other Local Authorities adopted them wholly or in part. It is interesting to note however, that even in the 1970's, only 75% of LEA's had any regulations at all.

Of course, these regulations were no doubt crafted with good intentions, but they did not go nearly far enough and were largely ignored anyway. In essence, schools and teachers did as just they wished. In theory, teachers could be hauled before the Education Committee and disciplined; a fine could be imposed or in extreme cases, dismissed. But this rarely happened, mainly because the authorities never got to know about their misdeeds. In a lot of schools, especially deprived inner city ones, children were subject to shocking physical abuse. Punishment books were rarely filled in, savage caning's were administered and a whole variety of unauthorized punishments and implements were used.

Throughout the course of the 20th century, the regulations were added to, but curiously, none of these ever stipulated the maximum number of strokes that could be given or indeed the severity of the punishment itself. Even the law was equivocal, stating only that a punishment should be reasonable. Reasonable was undefined and in the event, it would be up to a magistrate to decide just what was reasonable in the circumstances.

Some authorities such as Barrow in Furness and Wigan did regulate the lengths of canes to be used upon different age groups/genders. A small number of LEA's actually supplied canes direct to their own schools in order to prevent teachers using their own. Wigan for instance stipulated that the cane to be used should be only a thin, flexible one as supplied by their Supplies Department, all other canes were forbidden.

The ILEA, which became more progressive in the 1970's after falling under Labor control, amended their regulations to include the length of canes to be used. 'A cane of not more than 36 inches to be used on secondary school boys; a cane not over 30 inches to be used on all girls and junior boys'. In practice, these regulations, although a step in the right direction, meant little because no account was made as to thickness or more importantly, the density of the cane. Under Labor control, the ILEA like Wigan, supplied their own canes to the schools in their area. Some of these canes were actually stamped 'ILEA' in order prevent unauthorized canes being substituted. But, the canes were graded only for length.

Corporal punishment was finally abolished by law in 1987 after a ruling by the European Court of Human Rights. It is a sad indictment of the British schooling system that the abolishing of C.P. took so long. Britain was the last country in Europe to do so. The cane was in use for over 200 years. In retrospect, it seems incredible, surreal even, that factories and workshops produced implements e.g. canes, straps and tawse, for the sole purposed of beating children.


UK Canes - Authentic School Canes.

My Wall... Built... Breached... Need to Rebuild

As I have stated before, my wall was built very strong without even realizing it was being built. Life experiences put me in a protective state of dealing with others and even worse myself. Being taught at a very young age to be as tough as a man, but still be a lady. Confusing at times but still knowing the point of the lesson.

Long before the teacher of this lesson was gone. I took over drilling myself to keep that tough shield, so to speak. Never allowing anything less. If anything, I became more demanding and less forgiving of myself for failing. Angry when I allowed myself to let my guard down even a little and only noticing when it was too late and the damage was already done.

My wall has been a struggle at times. Fighting to keep it strong, but knowing how it was affecting my ability to live life to it's fullest. Everything was forced under a tight mask that was suffocating. Causing every emotion to become anger and and this anger was not aimed at anyone else but myself. Which affected my behavior. Acting out in ways that weren't good for me. Mostly taking dangerous risks. As one person told me. Your not just hanging to the edge. Your dangling with only a finger tip.

Knowing this was true and trying desperately to change my behavior and way of thinking, but failing over and over again. Told I was failing because I had no real consequences for my actions. I knew this was true and have felt that my interest and understanding of spanking for discipline was what I needed. I started searching for real experience. Not just reading about it or observing others real experiences on line.

So I decided to go back online and see if i could find someone for discipline. Seemed simple enough...Right. Well it is if you don't care about safety. Most people who have been on any site and observant of the people on them. Will notice there are more "Want-a-be spankers" than spankers with real experiences. People who are quick to say they have the knowledge and experience of what ever you are describing your looking for..

Ability to see into the future.

What a wonderful ability that would be. To see foresee mistakes that would hurt others or myself. The opportunity to correct the issue before it even is one. Saving my bottom long before it is in deep trouble.

Yet the down side could be much worse than a sore bottom for a mistake that disappoints a Dominate. With every chance of knowing about the really good outcomes in the future. There is knowledge of the bad.

Still having hope with something that you don't know the outcome keeps you alive in a positive way. Knowledge of a situation failing or not turning out the way you hoped it would likely effect even doing somethings. Which would mean missing out on life experiences you might not have ever known otherwise.

Failed relationships is something most of us wish we knew long before any real time is put into then or would like to skip all together. Sometimes even great things come out of the worse situations. Children being at the top of my list.

Basically the statement " Be careful what you wish for " isn't  just for spankings.  ;)

New Experience

For days Sir pampered me. Making sure I was eating well, hydrated and well rested. He didn't keep it a secret as to why he wanting me to be healthy and strong. This weekend would be a new experience, with another lesson in who we are both physically and mentally. Past experiences have been extremely intense and most of all quite painful, even for me. Moments when my blood curdling screams even shocked me. Thinking there is no way I can possibly take any more. Causing me to beg and plead for mercy, as if my life depended on it. Yet beneath it all, hoping he will ignore my pleas and have the strength to push again past what we both may think is our limit. Knowing when it is over, the feeling of euphoria and increasing desire to submit even more to him. Pride in knowing that I belong to him and what that means.

My nervous anticipation is obvious to him and even though we both know how the mental aspects of who we are play a strong part in most everything we do. This is even so in our everyday lives. He does thing to help me relax some. He makes sure that my nervous feelings are simply a natural fear of the unknown and not stressful.

The night before, after we have eaten and all my chores are done. I go to him, where he is seated in his favorite chair, sipping Jack and watching TV. I smile when I see the large cushion he has placed for me. His eyes do not break from the show he is watching when I enter the room and position myself on his gift of comfort at his feet. My arms wrap around his muscular leg as if it was a security blanket and I bring my head to rest on his thigh. I find myself once again trying to imagine what he has in store for me, when I feel him gently stroke my head. He continuing to do so until the show ends, then shutting the TV on with the remote before leaning closer to me. In a gentle voice he explains that he needs to get up and that I should stay here.

I watch as he leaves the room and easily hear the recognizable sound of his feet on each step as he walks up the stairs. Know this sound too well, when I have been sent up stairs to wait for him. My mind drifts for just a moment when I hear the sound of running water. Curious as to what he is doing, but can’t help but to find myself again running possible scenarios of tomorrow’s event through my mind.

Deep in thought, I don’t even notice him return until the tone of his voice startles me and I look up to find him towering over me with his arms crossed and a stern look, like he is waiting to know if I am back with him now. Quickly I apologize and he knowing me oh too well. Extends his hand for me to take and states that I need not worry myself about what will happen tomorrow, because I will know soon enough.

Still holding my hand, he smiles and leads the way to the warm bath he prepared. Hint of musk filled the small room, while the soft lighting had quite a calming effect. He began carefully removing my all my clothes and then assisted me as I stepped into the bath. Communicating in silence was not new to either of us and it seemed like words at that moment were unnecessary.

Kneeling next to the bath tub and a wash cloth lathered in soap, he began to carefully wash me, until I was clean from head to toe. When he was done, I stood there as he poured fresh water over me to rinse off any soap left behind. All I can think of is how well Sir takes care of his property and how grateful I am for that.

I watch him unfold and open wide an oversized bath towel and inviting me out of the bath and into it. Easily covering me from head to nearly the floor, wrapped like a cocoon. Tightly packaged, he takes care in guiding me to the bedroom and sits down in the reading chair, pulling me to sit in his lap. My head nestled in his chest and my body cradled in his arms as he gently rocks me.

Not at all sure how long, before a simple pat on my thigh to signal me to stand up. Sir pulls the covers back on the bed so that I can slip easily from the bath towel to bed. As he tucks me in and kisses my cheek, the first words are spoken in over an hour. Good night and sweet dreams my girl. Completely relaxed now, my body takes over and can’t resist from shutting down for the night.

Sir watches me for a moment in my calm state of rest, and then steps out to finish a few things needed for tomorrow. Returning quietly to get the rest he needs to take care of me as planned.

A tradition that disgusts some and would be hell for them, but for some of us a welcoming, beginning to a wonderful and exciting future with someone.

Found this story posted on a vanilla forum. I very much love it and would have easily excepted this situation myself. If my family dynamics was like this. As many can imagine, the posted responses pretty unanimous about being disgusted with the possibility of it happening.

 Spanking the bride wedding tradition.
First of all my family, including myself, is REALLY old fashioned. We believe that the husband is the head of the household and a wife should submit and obey. 


ANYWAY. I'm about to get married and our family has this tradition, after I get my gown on before the ceremony my mom and dad will come in. My dad will have a hairbrush then I'll lay across his lap, he'll pull my dress up and spank me with the brush as a last sign of authority over me and my last spanking from him. And it's not a light spanking either, mom says it'll hurt. 

THEN after the ceremony but before the reception mom and dad will take me and my husband into a room then it's my husband's turn to take me over his lap, pull up my dress and spank me with with the same hairbrush as a sign that he is in charge of me now and as my husband it is now his job and duty to discipline me when needed. After my spanking, if my dad thinks my new husband has sufficiently spanked me and did a good job, my husband is officially given the brush which has been passed down and was used on my mom by dad on their wedding day, so my husband can use it on me in the future when I need it. 


I'm kind of nervous but I'll get through. Mom said I'll probably just have a sore bottom on our honeymoon. I just hope I don't get out of line and do anytning to get a spanking for a while after that, cause my fiance spanks hard, and that haribrush really hurts. I'll have to Love, Honor, and definatley Obey.  

Torturing myself

I believe that the primary interest I have in the lifestyles that have a Dominate and a submissive role to be very beneficial for the people lucky enough to find that match. Unfortunately I have not been able to live this 24/7, but I can’t help but to think that living it, is a difficult as finding the right fit to do so.

For years my known interest and the submissive in which I truly had a lot less understanding of the depth of it, was inside me. Tormenting me on a daily basis. Secretly looking on line, reading stories and information regarding it. At times becoming so frustrated and sad due to the over whelming want and actually need for it. I would more than once give up and pack it in. Feeling it was an impossible fairy tale. Only to return again, not really knowing why or what I was expecting to happen.

Somehow I was lucky enough to find my perfect fit, but have been told and know from quite early on that there was no future in it. Not knowing for sure when, but knowing some day it will end. At times I spend almost as much time thinking about what I will do then , as I do thinking about the great experiences now.

I’ve known for a while that I will set this part of me aside again, but this time it will be for the last time. It will be different this time, because I have collected for years, implements and even some clothing has had strong connections to this part of me. These items will only make it more difficult for me close this up. I know that I will get rid of or destroy these items.

Rambling a lot with this, but guess my point is… It won’t be easy to do, but I already know the pain and torture of smothering this part of me. Have no doubt it will be easier than torturing myself with hopeless fairy tales.

Much needed attention and reward

The sound of your car pulling into the drive way has me excited to see You, that i ignore the discomfort of my knees from following your orders to crawl all day as i nearly gallop across the hard floor to greet You. 

Setting your briefcase down, as kneel close to give me a kiss and ask if i have been a good girl today. With some confidence i nod yes, in hopes that You will agree. 

You instruct me to turn around so that You may inspect the tail You placed in me is still as it should be. i turn quickly and position myself as You trained me for inspection. My knees spread shoulder length apart, toes pointed lying flat on the ground, palms and elbows flat on the ground with my head lowered and most important my bottom raised as high as possible with no concern of modesty. 

You grin with content to my eager desire to please You. As i remain as still as possible, your eye take note of my tail being in its place while your hand runs slowly down each cheek, becoming ever so slightly close to the swollen wet lips between my thighs. 

You can hear my breathing change and feel my skin twitch slightly. Knowing that i fail to control my excitement, especially when it comes to your power over me. You decide to toy with me for a bit before your usual routine after work. 

Making slow steps You move around me and ask me if i have been dripping on your floor today? The obvious sound of your hands unbuckling your belt, startles my hesitation and i respond with a soft moan before i stammer my words. No... Sir, i... i don't... believe so. In my position, i am only able to hear the tone in your voice, with no knowledge of the devious look of pleasure upon your face as the sound of your belt being removed from your trousers is still recognizable as the words spoken of the consequences for such naughty lust. My bottom cheeks tingle and twitch involuntarily. The throbbing of my swollen lips is hard to ignore and the urge to shift my hips and thighs becomes more difficult to resist.

Muffled moans escape as You place the folded end of your belt against the wetness between my thighs. The leather sticks easily to it and hesitates to release its grip as You pull it away. Only by touch, like with the belt am i able to be aware of the betrayal of my body. You don't even need to bring the belt close to see the large glistening mark of darkened leather on your belt. The sound of your long deep sigh makes me nervous and tremble.  

You order me to raise my elbows off the floor, leaving my hands in place. Then without moving my hands, position myself on my toes with my legs straight and bottom high in the air. With awkward moves, i manage to get in the position and focus on balancing myself to hold still. Praising me on achieving the position properly as You remark that You hope i do as well taking my punishment. Hoping that i do also is clearly spoken in my head, but Yes Sir is the only words spoken.

You lift the soft fur of my tail so that it rests on my back now. The discomfort of my position places me in a comfortable position for You to view the lust of my lips and easily apply even marks across my cheeks with your belt. Whimpering sounds are heard as You rest the belt against my cheeks. The feel of the belt moving back and forth across my skin is just one part of the sadistic pleasure You plan to enjoy. 

"you are a dirty servant girl and I think you enjoy the feel of the strap stinging and welting your bottom." You scold, then ask. "Tell me girl... Are you a dirty servant girl?"  Knowing the proper response, i quickly reply. "Yes Sir, i am a dirty servant girl." At this point, You begin to tap the belt on my bottom. "Hmmm and you enjoy being strapped... don't you girl?" Embarrassed by the truth i moan, but know i can't answer with anything other than the truth. "Yes Sir... i enjoy being strapped." Simply spoken words, "Ask girl" commands a response. "i am a dirty servant girl, Sir. Will You please strap me." Grinning with pleasure, You tap harder. "Yes girl... I will strap you, only because you asked so nicely."

Instructed to stay in position and thank You after each one. "Yes Sir" i acknowledge. With no doubt in your mind, my need for this. You raise the strap high and bring it down hard across both cheeks. Loud gasp and yelp exploded from inside me, before i am able to reply... "Th..ank You Sirrr." Noting the mark quickly changes from pink to bright red as my cheeks tighten and relax. Again You raise and lower the strap with the same force. The squeals of pain are ignored as You wait for me to thank You. Then You repeat again and again. Giving me time to balance and respond. You take note of the increasing glistening and swelling of my lips. 

Placing the belt again against the wetness, i whimper and You advice me that this won't do.

Ordering me to keep my legs straight, stay up on my toes and in position for the last 10 and advising me, that i don't need to thank You, because i probably won't be able to. "Yes Sir" barely finished when You bring down the first stroke, following quickly with the rest. Landing with precision across my already stinging and burning cheeks.

Pleased with how well i did, as You return your belt to its place and tell me to stand up. When i do so, the furry tail falls to the stinging skin and teasingly brushes back and forth as i move to get my hair out of my face. When i finally am able to look at You, i see the devious grin of your pleasure from tickling discomfort of my tail fur. 

You pull me close and hug me. One of your hands slides down to my bottom to inspect your work. Softly i moan from your touch and whisper "Thank You Sir". "you're welcome my girl and you may get me a Jack and bring a nice pillow with you into my study". With a coy look and a smile from ear to ear, i proudly respond... "Yes Sir". You are pleased and i will be rewarded.  

Seated comfortably when i come to the door, You nod for me to come in. After handing You your drink i wait for your nod to enjoy my reward. To this day, You still take delight in my eager desire to have You in my mouth. You nod and i nearly stumble to place the pillow on the ground in front of You and get to my knees. Your large stiff cock pressing tight against the clothes slowing me down just a little. One more quick glance in your eyes and a smile before i bury my face in my earned reward.

Thoughts and Feelings

Can’t help but to feel that I have failed You, with my own wants and desires to be with You. My pain “is what it is”, but yours hurts even more, especially when I am cause for it. You have given me more than I have ever known or thought possible. Asking nothing in return.

I have been forced to submit in many ways throughout my life using physical and mental means. Not alone threats. But not You… You forced my submission with the strongest and most powerful Dominance possible. You cared, taught and protected me. Gave me a safe lap and arms to rely on. You understand me without judgment and know what is best for me. My needs are important to You. My wants are not meaningless and ignored because You own me. I am the lucky one, to be able to serve and please You. So proud and honored to be yours alone.   Even when your life only allows it with limitations. Difficult as it is, I care so much for You that, I can’t deny who and what You are to me. 

Wish these were my own words, but I couldn’t say them any more perfect.

I love Him as my Daddy
I have a respectful fear for Him as my Lord
I crave Him passionately as my Lover
I thirst for Him as my Teacher
I adore Him as my Mentor
I need Him as my Protector
I call Him, my Master

Other borrowed words, but this has been how You have treated me since the very beginning.

Treat her like a Lady until you have to spank her like a little girl.

I Love You Daddy… Always & Forever

Your little girl

New Lexan paddles I made.

Not sure why it posted backwards.

It's sad to belong.

Soul Mate

Real soul mates... must be nothing more than a impossible dream or fantasy that only torment and tease as years of relationships come and go. Some not so bad and some fail horribly. This late in life your sure there is no such thing and dreaming of it is nearly impossible. Then it happens with no warning. Beyond what you thought a soul mate might be. Can't believe that in a world so big your lucky enough to find this piece that fits so perfect. Yet even with all its miracle why should your life be any different than it has been. Filled with curve balls and complications that will prevent this from having a real future.

Rambling

It's been over two years since Sir and i first made contact online. Now just two years since i first gazed up at his tall stature to look into the eyes of the man who had changed my world already in just a couple months. Then continue to change it every day without any warning. No matter how hard i might have tried to keep some control of my heart, soul and body. i failed to protect myself as i had done all my life from showing any feelings or emotions that made me look and feel weak in any way. What was happening to me was truly the scariest experience of my life. 

From many life experiences i have protected myself from anyone ever really knowing me. Trust and depend on no one completely. Always holding back enough to stay in control of myself and protect myself from being hurt to badly. Emails, chats, talking and then time together discussing the interest that brought us together, along with the interest we had in common of our every day lives may be what put me at ease or what ever it was. But i couldn't seem to control myself from sharing my worse fears, painful experiences, emotions or feelings. In the past when i had done something wrong i might feel guilty, but not enough usually to tell on myself. With Sir, anything from behavior issues to a desire or interest i might have or think he might like. Yet nervous or embarrassed to admit. Felt like i was keeping a secret and would make me feel ill until i told him. i discovered that for the first time ever in my life, i actually trusted someone 100%. Meaning... my heart, mind and body completely. 

There is no turning back for me now. His power, strength and Dominance over me is something i just can't ignore or block from my heart, mind or body now. The desire to serve, please and care for him is over whelming. Something i just can't explain.

The intimacy shared with him is the most special i have ever had or could imagine and it is not by intercourse. Not doing that is a choice made early on. It has actually been over 3 years for me, yet he rewards me with allowing me to please him with my mouth. Think what you want to when i use the word reward, but for me it truly is. i don't love sucking any man's cock, but i have liked doing so with very few before Sir. With Sir, i love, crave, desire and even get in trouble sometimes for my impatience to do so. Make it even more desirable is how he tastes.